Lynn Swann: Portrait in Betrayal
Posted by Box Daddy
Former Pittsburg Steeler wide receiver Lynn Swann is now a Republican. And he is threatening to run for Governor of Pennsylvania.
This does not even surprise anyone, but it should.
At one point in the Republic's history, it would have been absurd to imagine that a B actor could become presidemt, or that a weightlifter could become governor, or that football players or singer/songwriters could become congressmen.
No longer. The Republican Party in its neverending quest to remove all barriers to its core intellectual nullity has embraced this wisdom: quasi-charismatic male authority figures with no qualifications and no particular intelligence trump everything else in Global War America.
From the SWANN WEB SITE:
"Lynn has toured the country as a motivational speaker, touting the need for responsibility, strong leadership, and making the most of opportunities that present themselves. He also turned his success on the field into opportunities in the corporate world. Lynn currently sits on the board of directors of three companies, including H.J. Heinz Company, Hershey Entertainment and Resorts, and Wyndham International, Inc."
So, basically Lynn can claim that he has "touted" the need for grasping the incredibly obvious and then he's worked hard "sitting on the board of directors" of some corporations. Well, HOLD THE PHONE, sounds like presidential material to me...why not skip the governor's race and go straight to the primary season with a record like this.
However, let's read on.
"It is this community leadership along with other qualities that led President George W. Bush to ask Lynn to serve as the Chairman of the President's Council on Physical Fitness and Sports. In this role, once held by California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, Lynn is responsible for helping to create and implement the President's fitness agenda for America."
So, at SWANN'S initial PRESS CONFERENCE, first question to candidate Swann should be:
"Mr. Swann, as Chairman of the President's Council on Physical Fitness, could you explain how improvised explosive devices fit into the President's fitness agenda for America's Youth? And as a follow up, do you have plans to tout the need for Lynn Swann to shut the fuck up and quit the governor's race?"
More Swann bolier plate:
"Now comes a unique opportunity for Lynn Swann to offer the state a fresh and energetic leadership. That's why Lynn Swann formed Team 88. Over the course of the next several months, Lynn Swann will use Team 88 as a vehicle to have a conversation with the people of Pennsylvania in regards to a potential run for Governor. He'll use this vehicle to raise money, travel the Commonwealth, and assess the state of Pennsylvania affairs."
Let me get this straight, Swann will travel around RAISING MONEY and "having a conversation with the people of Pennsylvania" and then he will "assess the state of Pennsylvania affairs" -- Check me if I'm wrong, but don't you run for office for REASONS THAT YOU ALREADY KNOW IN ADVANCE. I mean, has he been in a persistent vegetal state or something? He needs to "assess the state of affairs"?
PRESS CONFERENCE, again: "Mr Swann, in your travels across the state have you also assessed the state of your head while it is inside your ass?"
You know, I really hated the Steelers when I was growing up and finally I know why:
Like some super sentient species of bat or dingo, I intuited that Lynn Swann would someday betray the United States of America.
(I hope to hell the Philadelphia Eagles have a Democrat handy to smack this moron down.)
Former Pittsburg Steeler wide receiver Lynn Swann is now a Republican. And he is threatening to run for Governor of Pennsylvania.
This does not even surprise anyone, but it should.
At one point in the Republic's history, it would have been absurd to imagine that a B actor could become presidemt, or that a weightlifter could become governor, or that football players or singer/songwriters could become congressmen.
No longer. The Republican Party in its neverending quest to remove all barriers to its core intellectual nullity has embraced this wisdom: quasi-charismatic male authority figures with no qualifications and no particular intelligence trump everything else in Global War America.
From the SWANN WEB SITE:
"Lynn has toured the country as a motivational speaker, touting the need for responsibility, strong leadership, and making the most of opportunities that present themselves. He also turned his success on the field into opportunities in the corporate world. Lynn currently sits on the board of directors of three companies, including H.J. Heinz Company, Hershey Entertainment and Resorts, and Wyndham International, Inc."
So, basically Lynn can claim that he has "touted" the need for grasping the incredibly obvious and then he's worked hard "sitting on the board of directors" of some corporations. Well, HOLD THE PHONE, sounds like presidential material to me...why not skip the governor's race and go straight to the primary season with a record like this.
However, let's read on.
"It is this community leadership along with other qualities that led President George W. Bush to ask Lynn to serve as the Chairman of the President's Council on Physical Fitness and Sports. In this role, once held by California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, Lynn is responsible for helping to create and implement the President's fitness agenda for America."
So, at SWANN'S initial PRESS CONFERENCE, first question to candidate Swann should be:
"Mr. Swann, as Chairman of the President's Council on Physical Fitness, could you explain how improvised explosive devices fit into the President's fitness agenda for America's Youth? And as a follow up, do you have plans to tout the need for Lynn Swann to shut the fuck up and quit the governor's race?"
More Swann bolier plate:
"Now comes a unique opportunity for Lynn Swann to offer the state a fresh and energetic leadership. That's why Lynn Swann formed Team 88. Over the course of the next several months, Lynn Swann will use Team 88 as a vehicle to have a conversation with the people of Pennsylvania in regards to a potential run for Governor. He'll use this vehicle to raise money, travel the Commonwealth, and assess the state of Pennsylvania affairs."
Let me get this straight, Swann will travel around RAISING MONEY and "having a conversation with the people of Pennsylvania" and then he will "assess the state of Pennsylvania affairs" -- Check me if I'm wrong, but don't you run for office for REASONS THAT YOU ALREADY KNOW IN ADVANCE. I mean, has he been in a persistent vegetal state or something? He needs to "assess the state of affairs"?
PRESS CONFERENCE, again: "Mr Swann, in your travels across the state have you also assessed the state of your head while it is inside your ass?"
You know, I really hated the Steelers when I was growing up and finally I know why:
Like some super sentient species of bat or dingo, I intuited that Lynn Swann would someday betray the United States of America.
(I hope to hell the Philadelphia Eagles have a Democrat handy to smack this moron down.)
3 Comments:
Knee-jerk leftists and conservatives who value intellect over celebrity need not worry, at least yet. Democratic governor Ed Rendell currently leads Swann by 13 points in the polls.
https://www.post-gazette.com/pg/05113/493234.stm
Funny, I don't remember seeing many Eagles smacking Swann down as he dove his way to three Super Bowls.
Contrary to Mr. Trott, however, I am amazed that Swann could be polling this close to the Governor without even declaring. I live in a state where Republicans close that kind of gap in 1 hour once that get the $ behing them
When did Lynn Swann become a singer-songwriter?
Oh wait, he was in the Eagles?
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