Extra-Effort Kid-Friendliness
Posted by Trott
We're playing an afternoon show at the Excelsior Playground (Moscow Ave. & Russia St.) in San Francisco on Saturday, November 17. I've begun making my lyrics safe for 5th graders. I don't have lots of swear words in my songs or anything like that. But I am surprised, now that I have to think about each song, at how much use I make of words like crackhead, Cannibal Corpse, and friggin'.
Here are some preliminary lyric substitution plans.
Original:
Heroin junkie, you don't need to get your fix.
Put away your works and I'll show you where to get your kicks.
I know it sounds crazy, but crackhead you know it's true.
You don't need smack when you got yourself a little au jus.
Modified for child-safety purposes:
Cookie Monster, you don't need to get your snacks.
Put away your Chips Ahoy and I'll show you where to relax.*
I know it sounds crazy, but Muppet, you know it's true.
You don't need Oreos when you got yourself a little au jus.
*Is it cool to use chillax instead of relax or is that completely weak?
Original:
I get suicidal when the 14th rolls around.
Modified for child-safety purposes:
I get kinda restless when recess rolls around.
Original:
Coffee Bear needs coffee now!
Modified for increased child-empathy:
Chocobear needs chocolate now!
Solid Gold JP once had a cover band that played for a bunch of kids, and they realized that a lot of their repertoire wasn't appropriate. They changed Bad Company's "Feel Like Making Love" to "Feel Like Skipping Rope."
Let's just say, don't be surprised if we break out a slightly modified Bad Company cover tune.
We're playing an afternoon show at the Excelsior Playground (Moscow Ave. & Russia St.) in San Francisco on Saturday, November 17. I've begun making my lyrics safe for 5th graders. I don't have lots of swear words in my songs or anything like that. But I am surprised, now that I have to think about each song, at how much use I make of words like crackhead, Cannibal Corpse, and friggin'.Here are some preliminary lyric substitution plans.
Original:
Heroin junkie, you don't need to get your fix.
Put away your works and I'll show you where to get your kicks.
I know it sounds crazy, but crackhead you know it's true.
You don't need smack when you got yourself a little au jus.
Modified for child-safety purposes:
Cookie Monster, you don't need to get your snacks.
Put away your Chips Ahoy and I'll show you where to relax.*
I know it sounds crazy, but Muppet, you know it's true.
You don't need Oreos when you got yourself a little au jus.
*Is it cool to use chillax instead of relax or is that completely weak?
Original:
I get suicidal when the 14th rolls around.
Modified for child-safety purposes:
I get kinda restless when recess rolls around.
Original:
Coffee Bear needs coffee now!
Modified for increased child-empathy:
Chocobear needs chocolate now!
Solid Gold JP once had a cover band that played for a bunch of kids, and they realized that a lot of their repertoire wasn't appropriate. They changed Bad Company's "Feel Like Making Love" to "Feel Like Skipping Rope."
Let's just say, don't be surprised if we break out a slightly modified Bad Company cover tune.
Labels: shows
2 Comments:
My friends played that song at Bay to Breakers one year and a naked dirty hippie guy stood in front of them doing pelvic thrusts to the big butt-rock riff on the chorus. The image haunts my nightmares. I wish they had played it as "Feel Like Skipping Rope."
ha ha. in other "safe for kids" news, when i volunteered at the bluegrass festival when 4,000 sf and bay area middle school kids came out to the show, the headliner "Poor Man's Whiskey" was referred to only as "PMW". there goes the name recognition branding opportunity, making young fans...
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