Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Not The Joy Of Cooking: Name This Drink

Posted by Trott

Photo by Humuhumu
Sometimes, you just need a way to get rid of stuff you're never going to use.

I had a can of Diet Coke.

I had a small amount of Cruzan's universally reviled Black Strap Rum.

These are things I would never drink.

Put them together, and you get a surprising vanilla flavor coming from a rum-and-Coke that no one should ever really drink.

I drank it until the can of Diet Coke was empty.

This drink needs its own name. It is not just another rum-and-Coke. What to call it? Sludgy McGhee? Vanilla Aspartame? Where'd The Motherf(*%^#ing Mollases Go?



 Vespasian Donnely said...

Rarely has Mr Trott reached the quality of "sludgy McGhee."


Please record a doubel concept album with a picture of a glas sof "Sludgy McGhee" on the cover...on the back cover Don Felder and company style a la Hotel California -- you have an empty glass of sludgy mcghee...

The album should be recorded as if it were made in 1974....

It should feature these tracks (among others):

"Dont Care What You Say (Im Moving to Halifax)"

"The Quicker Picker Upper, My Ass"

and the countryfied hit single:

"Gambling is what I do when Im not drunk..."

7:41 AM, April 18, 2008
 Samantha Powers said...

THAT BUTTON IS OKAY...its an improvement...

But you shoudl really listen to this guy Vespasian Donnely...he seems to have some very well-thiought out ideas about your career. If I were you, I would request that Mr. Donnely (whoever this wise man is) provide you with more advice. It will certainly help you navigate life' bitter periods of disillusion.

I suggest that Sludgy McGhee (the double album) feature a 18 minute and 23 second drum solo by C. Dalby entitled "Fresno Freakout" it could have some sound effects and such even lyrics but mainly drums by CDalb ...Id like some "making of" photos attached to the album liner notes too...

Another song would be piano and acoustic guitar:

Called "Oaks Room Playa"

Lyrics like this -- sung very aggressively:

Oh yeah, Im a playa
Oh yeah, Im a playa
Oh yeah, Im a playa
if you got doubts
I will assuage them

Cause everybody knows
Im a playa
And the people in the streets
They all say-uh
That my skills and my drills
Will not forsake me

Everyone knows that Im a playa
[back up female voice] Oaks Room Playa
Everyone knows that Im a playa
[back up female voice] Oaks Room Playa

then in a perfect world [you have a one minute spoken word interlude over a minimal musical accompaniment, slowed down, by Gambling Poet..about the time that he won the big money in Oaktown...and they checked his id]

7:57 AM, April 18, 2008
 Robert said...

Call it The VHS.

8:46 AM, April 21, 2008
 beckyz said...

When are we done with this section of "The Joy of Cooking" -- because I had a roommate once who told me that 'Cooking' requires the use of fire.

And if you are looking for a liver detox once you are up to soups or whatever, call me and I'll try to hook you up.

5:49 PM, April 22, 2008
 Trott said...

I believe there are twelve more punches to make. With any luck, we'll be done with this section sometime this summer.

8:01 PM, April 22, 2008

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